A Light in the Darkness
by Sphynx1
Summary: Heavy issues here...I would recomend this only for those willing to delve into the a relationship w/ a mentally ill person.
1. 1/?

Author: Sphynx  
  
Title: A Light in the Darkness 1/?  
  
Pairings: Future 3+4  
  
Warnings: Angst, older OOC Duo  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* They aren't mine, these loverly boys. Yep…Now I'm going to go resign myself to that fact. *goes off and cries quietly for a moment or two*  
  
Notes: Ok, I really don't know how long this will be. But long it will be. I have created St. Julien's Hospital for War-Related Illnesses, and the policies of the staff are based on both personal experience (mine and other people's) and my imagination. So don't say they would do it another way.  
  
  
  
A man walked down the street, thinking to himself as he hurried to his destination. It was cold and windy, and the lone figure had his collar turned up against the cold. His chestnut hair whipped in the wind, lashing his face as strands escaped from the braid down his back. Suddenly a figure rose before him and he broke out of his quiet reverie into a wide grin hailing the small blonde with a sunny smile.  
  
"Oi, Quatre! You should be inside. It's cold out here. How are you? You've let your hair grow out!" His sunny bright words were a contrast to the solitary hunched figure of only moments earlier. He chattered on, filling the air with meaningless words, hardly letting the blonde get in a word that he was just fine. It wasn't until Quatre got frustrated that he couldn't answer between questions that the man shut up.  
  
"Hush Duo, if you'll give me a chance I could tell you that, yes, I'm fine, no, I don't know where any of the others are, and yes, I'm cold let's get inside." Quatre's voice was soft and light, but carried an authoritative ring to it that shut the braided man called Duo up. He laughed while Quatre showed him into the well-furnished house they were stopped in front of.  
  
A single servant came to take their coats, and Quatre showed Duo into his study. Duo was wide-eyed at the small but luxurious setting. Though the house was on the small side, it was tastefully and expensively decorated. All the way to the study, which was upstairs Quatre asked Duo for news. Duo uncharacteristically was quiet, there was something bothering him, and Quatre commented on such.  
  
"Duo, I know you have been in touch with Heero, what is bothering you to keep you from telling me what you know of the others? It's been a long while since you contacted me."  
  
"Can't a guy call to say hey without getting the sixth degree here? Are you going to have me tell you all I know on an empty stomach? I'm famished!" Duo responded, ducking the question and taking the armchair that Quatre offered.  
  
"When are you not hungry?" Quatre asked back jokingly with a laugh as he sat down in a chair near Duo's. "My man is bringing something to eat and drink to the study. We'll be more comfortable there. And no, I don't think you called just to catch up on old times friend, though it is good to see you." Duo looked at Quatre carefully, as Quatre looked calmly back.  
  
"I guess you're right. I did call you with news, but I also just wanted to see you. You were on the mark when you said I've been in touch with Heero. He stops by every so often to check on me. I know he keeps updated on all of you, but he almost never tells me what he knows. But the other day he had stopped by and I asked if he knew where everyone was. He went kinda quiet and got a funny look on his face. Well, a funny look for Heero. I knew he had learned something was wrong. I made him tell me." Here Duo stopped, almost uncomfortable. Quatre waited patiently, knowing that Duo would tell him what had happened, surprised at how much Duo had changed in just the few years since the war. He had learned tact, and developed a bit of reserve.  
  
"He told me how you were, how Wufei was, he's doing well, and then he stopped again. Almost as if he just couldn't go on."  
  
"Duo, is something wrong with Trowa?" A look of dismay had come over Quatre's face. He had a strange sinking feeling that Duo was going to tell him something horrible, something he knew in his heart, but had blocked out of his mind. Duo took a deep breath and continued quietly.  
  
"Quatre, he tried to commit suicide after the war. About a year after peace was declared, he was involuntarily committed to a hospital. Catherine visits when she can, but more and more often, she just can't get away from the circus." Duo cast his eyes down, hearing Quatre's breath catch as he tried valiantly to keep his composure. They sat there for a long while in silence. The servant came in leaving a tray of food and a tea service when Quatre dismissed him with an absent wave of his hand. He went out worried, for his normally kind and smiling master looked so distraught, and his master's guest, so energetic just sat in the chair, with his head down. Finally Quatre spoke quietly, his voice strong and determined.  
  
"Duo, where is he?" Duo looked up at Quatre and saw emotions churning across his face. Determination and worry were there, as well as love and a touch of despair.  
  
"St. Julien's. They're the best equipped to deal with war survivors. He's not doing well." Duo's voice held a despair and sadness that was unaccustomed in the talkative, bright boy he had been. Quatre knew that he must go, he must go and see Trowa, even if he couldn't help.  
  
"Duo, you are welcome here as long as you like, there is a room prepared for you. I'll be leaving early tomorrow morning after I settle a few things here. Trowa needs me." Duo had more or less expected this of Quatre, the boy was perhaps Trowa's last hope, and they all knew this. The two were close during the war, and Duo knew that Quatre loved Trowa. Quatre had said so himself. So it was no surprise to Duo that Quatre would go tearing off to Trowa, maybe only that Quatre hadn't left yet.  
  
"It would be nice to stay here for a while, but I left Heero at my place and I want to find him there when I get back. Who knows with him, he could already be gone. Call me," Duo handed the blonde a card, "here's my number at work, my home phone's on the back. I will take you up on your offer for tonight, but I'm off to bed now."  
  
"Goodnight, Duo. Thank you." 


	2. 2/?

Author: Sphynx  
  
Title: A Light in the Darkness 2/?  
  
Pairings: Future 3+4 (it's there…I promise)  
  
Warnings: Angst, older OOC Duo  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* They aren't mine, these loverly boys. Yep…Now I'm going to go resign myself to that fact. *goes off and cries quietly for a moment or two*  
  
Notes: Ok, I really don't know how long this will be. But long it will be. I have created St. Julien's Hospital for War-Related Illnesses, and the policies of the staff are based on both personal experience (mine and other people's) and my imagination. So don't say they would do it another way.  
  
  
  
St. Julien's Hospital for War-Related Illness wasn't far from where Quatre was living. It had a good reputation for treating all kinds of illnesses, both physical and mental. If Trowa was here, that meant that he was really sick. Quatre knew that Catherine would try keeping Trowa with her at all costs. Only the most desperate of situations would force her to send him to a hospital. What happened that she couldn't cope with? Why couldn't Trowa seek normal counseling? Thoughts like these ran through Quatre's head as he sped along the highway.  
  
He pulled into the drive more than a little anxious. He hadn't been to see someone like this in his life that he could remember, and didn't know what it was going to be like, or if they would even let him in to see Trowa. He wasn't a relative, and he couldn't just walk in and demand entrance on the basis of having fought together. Not in this place surely. Worse comes to worse, I'll throw my name around. Even though I hate doing it, Trowa's more than worth it. Thoughts and fears ran through Quatre's head as he walked towards the wide steps that lead up from the parking lot to the hospital entrance. The steps looked like an insurmountable cliff to Quatre's eyes. There were so many, and his fear of such places grew within him. What if it is like the movies? What if they patients just wander around docily because they are so doped up they just don't care any more? Or if they try to grab you and won't let go? What if it is full of the tortured screams of tortured minds?  
  
"I can't think like this. I'll never go in." Quatre gathered up his courage and went inside. The lobby was like those of any other hospital, sparsely decorated, full of light, and clean. It was so clean it seemed to sparkle with the light that came from the fluorescent lights. Quatre seemed to know that if he was hesitant, if he showed any uncertainty that they might not let him in to see Trowa. So he strode up to the desk, exuding confidence from his very being.  
  
"I'm here to see Trowa Barton. Can you tell me where to find him?" The nurse behind the desk smiled sweetly at the cute young man requesting entrance.  
  
"Yes of course," she found the name on the computer in front of her, "Sir, may I ask for some ID?" Quatre smiled as he handed her his ID.  
  
"I hope you'll find that in order miss," he remarked when he saw her recognition of his name.  
  
"Yes Mr. Winner, sir. I'll have someone escort you to Mr. Barton's room right away." Quatre could see the young girl's eagerness to help him in anyway she could. It reminded him of the weight his family's name carried.  
  
Presently a young man, seemingly a volunteer, for he wore no specific uniform, came to the lobby. He was bright and talkative as he led Quatre through the maze of hospital corridors. At one point there was a security check and a locked glass door, which they were allowed to pass through with a couple of words. Quatre walked through it all in a daze, excitement and anticipation making him anxious to find Trowa. Then his young guide stopped in front of a door with a small window. Quatre looked at him questioning the hold up.  
  
"We're here Mr. Winner. There are two hours left for visitors. You will be notified appropriately at that time. Mr. Barton has room privileges with his visitors, as well as unrestricted ward privileges, I believe. You will be allowed to walk around as long as you stay on the ward. If you need anything, ask for Eric, I'll be here on duty." With this the young man knocked on the door, waited a moment and opened it. "Mr. Barton, you have a visitor."  
  
"Thank you Eric. Come in, please." The figure in the room stood up from a chair in front of the window and turned around. Quatre stood speechless. There was Trowa looking perfectly fine, no noticeable problem other than a hint of despair in his eyes and a sad resignation in his still rich baritone voice.  
  
"I'll leave you now, Mr. Winner." Trowa started at the name. He looked like a lead weight had hit him in the stomach.  
  
"Quatre?" His voice asked what his words could not. Is it really you? Are you here because you really care? Why has it been so long?  
  
"Trowa." 


	3. 3/?

Author: Sphynx  
  
Title: A Light in the Darkness 3/?  
  
Pairings: Future 3+4 (it's there…I promise)  
  
Warnings: Angst, mental ward  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* They aren't mine, these loverly boys. Yep…Now I'm going to go resign myself to that fact. *goes off and cries quietly for a moment or two*  
  
Notes: Ok, I really don't know how long this will be. But long it will be. I have created St. Julien's Hospital for War-Related Illnesses, and the policies of the staff are based on both personal experience (mine and other people's) and my imagination. So don't say they would do it another way.  
  
  
  
"Trowa." Quatre's voice held compassion, they held answers, and they held promise. But they also held fear, fear for Trowa, fear that he might never be the same again. Trowa saw Quatre's face as it went from emotion to emotion, finally settling on compassion, and maybe even something indefinably more.  
  
Trowa walked forward, waving him in the room with a small gesture of his hand. Quatre came in, closing the door behind him. He went back to his seat by the window, turning the chair so that it faced the room, and Quatre. He indicated that Quatre should sit. Trowa waited until Quatre sat in the only other chair in the room and then sat back down himself rather uneasily.  
  
"I'm sorry," Quatre said, his words conveyed all the thoughts in his head. I'm sorry for letting you go. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner.  
  
"Quatre, why?" Trowa's voice held no accusation, only speculation. Why did you let go, why weren't you there, why did you never call? "I've missed you," he admitted while Quatre stood there trying to put his feelings into something understandable.  
  
"Oh, Trowa. I've missed you too. Terribly. There hasn't a day that's gone by when I haven't thought of you, or the other pilots. I don't know why I didn't call you. I guess I thought that you didn't want to see me. That you didn't want to be reminded of the war. I thought…" Quatre paused, unsure of himself.  
  
"I know. Heero has been here. He said that I should be patient. You would come when you could."  
  
"I didn't even know anything was wrong until Duo called me and then came to visit. He told me you were here, and I came as soon as I could. I'm sorry. I should have tried to get in touch with you, with all of you earlier." Quatre's voice conveyed the guilt he felt guilt. Guilt for not knowing, for not bothering to find Trowa sooner. Trowa's eyes were kind for the entire time Quatre spoke. The pain that Quatre had first noticed was still there. Trowa had been suffering, but he still could find the kindness in his heart he had always felt towards Quatre.  
  
"Quatre, I can't lie to you. Your not contacting me has had some part in why I'm here. I've lived a soldier's life. Without the war to give my life meaning, I thought I had no place in this world. At one point I thought that maybe you could provide that meaning. When I never heard from you, I lost all hope. My coming here has given me a chance to find that meaning. And I have, I think."  
  
Quatre was crying silently when Trowa finished, the tears forming salty rivulets down his cheeks.  
  
"Trowa, I didn't know you felt that way. If I had known, I would not have let your hope die. Because you presented an opportunity for meaning in my life that I was too afraid to take.  
  
"Trowa, I think I could love you. I have cared about you deeply since the war, but if you don't feel the same now, after all this time, I can understand." Quatre looked down, a sad expression on his face. He knew that Trowa might be lost to him forever now.  
  
"Quatre, I don't know what to think. I have been here for a long time, and all that time I have been working to heal my past so I can move on to the future." Trowa sat silent for a moment, letting Quatre absorb his words.  
  
"I understand. I just had to come." Quatre got up and started towards the door. "I do hope you find peace, my friend."  
  
"Wait, Quatre. I think that I need to take what you are offering. For all I've gone through, I think I can say that I can try to love you." Trowa had gotten up and was standing in front of Quatre, his arms held out at his sides. Quatre's eyes lit up with a particular light that hadn't been in them since he had last seen Trowa.  
  
"Trowa? Truly? I thought that after all this time…" Trowa cut Quatre off in mid-sentence with a tentative embrace. Trowa held Quatre with a tender reserve and sense of wonder. Quatre reveled in the way Trowa's arms felt around him.  
  
"Quatre, it's not going to be perfect, but I do want to try to love you." 


	4. 4/?

Author: Sphynx  
  
Title: A Light in the Darkness 4/?  
  
Pairings: 3+4 (mwahahaha…It's almost here…FINALLY)  
  
Warnings: Angst, mental ward  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* They aren't mine, these loverly boys. Yep…Now I'm going to go resign myself to that fact. *goes off and cries quietly for a moment or two*  
  
Notes: Ok, I really don't know how long this will be. But long it will be. I have created St. Julien's Hospital for War-Related Illnesses, and the policies of the staff are based on both personal experience (mine and other people's) and my imagination. So don't say they would do it another way.  
  
After their first conversation, Quatre came to the hospital almost every day to visit Trowa. They would walk, talking, through the ward, or even outside as Trowa made more and more progress. Some days they would sit by the window in Trowa's room, Quatre reading aloud from various books. They were falling into a friendship more intimate than most, letting their feelings progress gradually. The weeks drifted away.  
  
Trowa's condition grew better as the weeks went by. Nurses smiled at Quatre whenever he came. Eric, who had become a friend to Quatre in the short time since he had first brought Quatre to the ward, answered Quatre's inquiry as to why the nurses were so nice.  
  
"It's because you have been such a blessing to Trowa. He seems so much happier now than ever before. I don't know what you did, but he's talking now, and expressing his emotions more openly. Well, more openly for him."  
  
Eric was so cheerful about this, but Quatre felt immense guilt. If only I had called him after the war, he would never have had to come here in the first place. Guilt played through his mind, eating away at his conscience.  
  
Trowa noticed one day that Quatre was more quiet than usual.  
  
"Quatre, please. Tell me what is wrong. Every time you come here you seem more withdrawn than the last." Concern colored Trowa's words.  
  
"I can't help but think you being here is all my fault. And I think about how terrible it must be for you."  
  
"It has been bad, Quatre, but don't blame yourself. You didn't know. I've learned a lot here. My time here hasn't been wasted."  
  
Quatre thought on Trowa's words. Quatre knew that therapy had done Trowa a world of good; Trowa seemed so much more open now than he did in the war. It was this that kept guilt at bay for Quatre, allowing him to accept what had happened, and look forward to a future.  
  
Catherine would come occasionally on one of her infrequent visits, and Quatre would let the two alone. One time, Catherine stopped Quatre before he left, pulling him into the hall.  
  
"Quatre, when I first heard you came here to visit Trowa, I wanted to hurt you. I thought his being here was your fault to begin with. And then you came here again, and I didn't want to see you hurt him. Did you know he had a setback the day after you came that first time? He didn't come out of his room until you came again, the doctors say. But he's doing better. I've never seen him this peaceful. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't screw up. If you hurt him like you did before…" She let the threat trail off as she saw the look on Quatre's face.  
  
"I'm sorry Catherine. I didn't know." The look on Quatre's face was heartbreaking; a mixture of guilt, pain, and grief. His voice as he spoke was soft, with pain edging his words with emotions.  
  
Catherine opened her mouth to say something but Trowa's voice cut in. "Cathy, don't lecture Quatre, he's been through enough."  
  
"And you haven't?" Catherine shot, getting the last word in that respect.  
  
"Quatre, are you really going so soon? We were right in the middle of a chapter." There was desperation in Trowa's voice, wanting everything to be all right again.  
  
"I'll stay if you want me to." 


	5. 5/?

Author: Sphynx  
  
Title: A Light in the Darkness 5/?  
  
Pairings: 3+4 (mwahahaha…It's almost here…FINALLY)  
  
Warnings: Angst, mental ward  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* They aren't mine, these loverly boys. Yep…Now I'm going to go resign myself to that fact. *goes off and cries quietly for a moment or two*  
  
Notes: Ok, I really don't know how long this will be. But long it will be. I have created St. Julien's Hospital for War-Related Illnesses, and the policies of the staff are based on both personal experience (mine and other people's) and my imagination. So don't say they would do it another way.  
  
  
  
Trowa was leaving the hospital. There were balloons everywhere on the ward, it was a big day, and they were going to celebrate. All the nurses wanted to say goodbye to Trowa and tell Quatre how much he had helped. Before Quatre had first come, there was little hope of Trowa's eventual release. But now, here they were celebrating only a couple of months later. He was going home.  
  
"Quatre, are you sure you don't mind taking me in?" Trowa had drawn Quatre aside for a moment, wanting to make sure that Quatre had no qualms about opening his house up after all this time.  
  
"Trowa, you need to be close to the hospital, and I want you to stay with me."  
  
"I know, I'm glad you've offered. I don't want to lose you now. You can't imagine how much I appreciate this." Trowa graced Quatre with one of his rare smiles. Quatre's eyes lit up when he saw it.  
  
"I don't want to lose you, or that smile. Just promise you won't run off as soon as they let you free here."  
  
A couple of nurses called out and waved for them to come over. Trowa let Quatre lead him back over to where the ward had gathered to say goodbye. No one was happy to see Trowa go. At least not of the various nurses, volunteers, and patients that were there. The nurses were thrilled that Trowa was doing well enough to leave, but they would miss his quiet presence on the ward. They would miss Quatre too. He had brought a light to not only Trowa's life, but the entire ward also. His soft voice had been heard talking quietly with Trowa, and reading out loud when Trowa didn't want to go out of his room.  
  
All too soon it was time to carry Trowa's bags out and say the final good-bye's. Eric once again was called on. This time to help Quatre and Trowa carry Trowa's personal effects down through the maze o corridors and out into the welcoming sunshine. He was the last one to say goodbye to the two young men, and he couldn't help but feel supreme hope for their future.  
  
They packed the car, and they were gone. Trowa looked out the front of the windshield, staring blankly. Quatre drove. He wanted to break the silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, but it wasn't entirely comfortable. He heald whatever meaningless, fumbling words he could have said. Trowa needed to let it all sink in. And so the drive was a length of silence they both needed.  
  
The silence didn't end when they arrived at the Quatre's modest home. Quatre help Trowa get his things into the spare room, and left Trowa with an open invitation to wander. Quatre went to his study, and sat down. He sat for a few mintues as the reality sunk in. Trowa's here. He's let me take him in. But where will it go? Will he ever be able to go without treatment? Quatre knew it would be a long time before Trowa ever made it to a point where he could live without the ties the hospital gave him. But he hoped Trowa could be happy. He hoped Trowa would be happy staying at his house, accepting his hospitality, and his friendship. 


	6. 6/?

Author: Sphynx  
  
Title: A Light in the Darkness 6/?  
  
Pairings: 3+4 (mwahahaha…It's almost here…FINALLY)  
  
Warnings: Angst, mental ward  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* They aren't mine, these loverly boys. Yep…Now I'm going to go resign myself to that fact. *goes off and cries quietly for a moment or two*  
  
Notes: I didn't know it would be this long…  
  
  
  
Trowa unpacked quickly. There wasn't much to unpack, really, just clothing and a few books. And his flute. It traveled with him most places he went. When he played he could escape the world, if only a few minutes. He could travel to a place beyond the pain, beyond the suffering. To a place of splashing waterfalls and cool grass. His own escape. He lovingly opened the latches on the case, and ran his hands softly along the length of the shining instrument before picking it up and setting it to his lips. He played a soft minuet, one of Bach's. Soft and bright, full of hope. He slid easily into other pieces, the music calming him, taking him to his safe place.  
  
Trowa was so far gone in his music that he never noticed Quatre standing quietly in the doorway with a wistful smile on his face. It wasn't till Trowa stopped to wet his lips that he looked up and saw Quatre leaning back into the door, his eyes closed and mouth curled into a small delighted smile. Quatre's eyes opened lazily, wanting to know why Trowa had stopped. Trowa felt his lips curl up at the corners as he lowered his lips to the flute again, this time playing a phrase from Beethoven's ninth symphony (1). It was the chorus, full of joy and life.  
  
Quatre couldn't help the small contented sigh that passed his lips after the last note died out. Trowa had shared a priceless gift, a small piece of his soul for Quatre to keep and cherish, by playing that piece. He had shared his joy with life, something that Quatre had helped him find again.  
  
"Thank you Trowa, thank you." Quatre smiled softly as Trowa continued to play various pieces. A bit of Mozart, Copeland, Vivaldi, and more that Quatre didn't recognize. Most of the music was full of hope and longing, joy and fulfillment. He placed his emotions into, fitting his soul into the depths of the woven notes. Then he played a short reprise of Beethoven, letting the triumphant notes dance around the room. And when Trowa finally put down the flute, Quatre was crying, the emotion expressed almost overwhelming his senses. It was a perfect moment, the music still echoing through the room as Trowa strode softly over to the door where Quatre was still standing and took him into his arms, letting Quatre bury his head in his shoulder.  
  
"Perfect," Quatre whispered softly as tears ran down his face. "Perfect."  
  
~~~~  
  
(1) Beethoven's Ninth, "Ode To Joy" was the last symphony Beethoven wrote, and the only truly joyful symphony (and my favorite). 


	7. 7/?

Author: Sphynx  
  
Title: A Light in the Darkness 7/?  
  
Pairings: 3+4 (mwahahaha…It's here…FINALLY)  
  
Warnings: Angst, mental ward  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* They aren't mine, these loverly boys. Yep…Now I'm going to go resign myself to that fact. *goes off and cries quietly for a moment or two*  
  
Notes: I didn't know it would be this long…  
  
  
  
Trowa lay on his bed thinking. Quatre had made dinner, something quite good. Then they had talked for a few hours. But Trowa's mind kept wandering back to that afternoon, when he had played his flute. He knew what effect the music always had had on him. A soothing calm would always interpose itself in his mind as he played. Quatre's tears were something new. Quatre had thought his music beautiful, he had been touched.  
  
"But why?" Trowa's whispered words were spoken in disbelief. He really didn't know why Quatre had taken him in, or what was expected of him. So why had Quatre been so kind, so willing to let a man with major psychological baggage into his life?  
  
Trowa started shivering, though the house wasn't cold. He couldn't stop the doubt that was attacking his mind. He lay there helpless as he fought an inner battle with the depression that would never really go away. And then there was a knock on his door.  
  
Quatre stood outside the door a little uneasy. There was something going on, major emotions were swirling out from Trowa's room, making him wonder if Trowa was all right. He knocked, and hearing no answer he opened the door a crack and stuck his head through. There was Trowa, curled in a little ball with tears running down his face, staring into nowhere.  
  
"Trowa!" The startled exclamation did nothing to gain a response from the  
  
huddled form on the bed. It was as if Trowa had fled into a secret place somewhere inside himself that no one else could find. Quatre opened the door and padded softly into the room, not wanting o scare Trowa. He was shivering so intensely. Quatre sat down on the edge of the bed and reached a hand out, and Trowa flinched back from the touch.  
  
"Trowa…Shhh…it's alright. Nothing's going to hurt you. Please Trowa…You're safe." Quatre's word seemed to have little effect, but Trowa heard them and looking up out of the darkness was able to focus on Quatre's form. Never before had Quatre looked so angelic than in the soft light coming through the door from the hall with a worried expression on his face.  
  
"Quatre." Laced with pain and wonder, the simple statement, the name on Trowa's lips brought tears of relief to Quatre's eyes. He hadn't been sure when he saw Trowa's eyes focus finally. Now he knew that Trowa was coming out of his daze. Quatre reached to brush the bangs out of Trowa's face. This time Trowa didn't shy away from his touch, but rather permitted Quatre to expose his face, still taunt from fear of the consuming darkness. It was Quatre's touch that brought him out of the darkness and into the light. It was the soft, gentle touch of a person who cared what happened to him, who cared about his happiness.  
  
Quatre felt Trowa stiffen slightly, then relax into his gentle touch. Trowa had stopped shivering and the light had started to come back into his eyes. Quatre looked into Trowa's eyes though, and still saw the residual pain and fear. And so he sat there for a long time, waiting for Trowa to relax into sleep, his heart full of love and compassion. It wasn't until he saw that Trowa was relaxed in a deep slumber that Quatre softly lifted himself from the bed and padded out of the room.  
  
"Goodnight Trowa, I love you." 


	8. 8/8

Author: Sphynx  
  
Title: A Light in the Darkness 8/8  
  
Pairings: 3+4 (It's here…FINALLY)  
  
Warnings: Tooth decay, anyone???  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* They aren't mine, these loverly boys. Yep…Now I'm going to go resign myself to that fact. *goes off and cries quietly for a moment or two*  
  
Notes: I didn't know it would be this long…BUT IT'S DONE!!!!!  
  
Quatre hummed happily as he worked in the kitchen making breakfast. It had been months since Trowa's last panic attack, and now Quatre could enjoy Trowa's company without fear or worry. Especially since they had moved beyond their close friendship into a deep romance.  
  
It had started the morning after Trowa had first arrived. Quatre had been reading the paper when Trowa walked into the room. He had put the paper down when he saw Trowa wanted to say something. Trowa had stammered something about how sorry he was for worrying Quatre the night before, and Quatre had told him not to worry, that he had been up anyway. Trowa said something then that startled Quatre. "Quatre, you were there for me last night, you've been there for me since you first came to visit me at the hospital. I don't think you realize what a light in the utter darkness of my life you have been. I don't think I've thanked you, so thank you for everything you have done."  
  
Quatre smiled as he remembered what had happened next. He had dropped the paper in amazement. "Trowa…I don't know what to say. I did all this because I love you." And that was when Trowa had gathered the courage to kiss him.  
  
Just the Trowa walked in. He saw the look on Quatre's face and guessed what was on the blonde's mind. He smiled as he realized that the task before him was perfectly timed. Quatre turned around as Trowa was going down on one knee. His hands flew to his mouth in shock as he realized what Trowa had in mind.  
  
"Quatre, ever since you came and found me in the darkness, you have been my light. I could never stand to lose you. Will you be with me for the rest of my life?"  
  
Tears ran down Quatre's face as he nodded his reply. He knew how much it had taken to get to this point, the months of therapy, and the simple reassurance of his own presence. It was all worth it as he realized that he was more than willing to spend the rest of his life with the young man on bent knee before him. 


End file.
